The Last Days of Sara

 Angela and I have been so fortunate to have been included in the Rabinowitz family for the many years since Maurice married Nancy.

Both Sara and Lennie gave us a significant example for which we have been very grateful.

So when we heard that Sara was entering the final phase of her life ,we wished to be with her and the Family, and we were very touched to be included and  appreciated that the family received us so warmly.

We arrived at a time when Sara was recognising and accepting that her final days were approaching and on our arrival she said to Angela:

“Darling, I am finished”. From that point we witnessed and were privileged to see a departure of a dearly and deservedly beloved family member leave  her world and ours.

She left those who were near to her with an equanimity and grace ; she showed a readiness to leave them and they “allowed her to do so”.

 As usual she engaged with all at her bedside with her questions about their lives, a loving enquiry so that, even at the end , she exhibited a  deep involvement in the lives of those around her.

She never complained and never showed suffering.Thus she relieved those around her of their fear, and made their loss more bearable.

 I have been fortunate to have attended the dying on a number of occasions and it is a great privilege to see a dignified and graceful ending of  life .This was one.

One where there were many people who had their own very strong attachments to Sara and who obviously came to say their own farewells at different stages of grief.

Sara did not dwell on the sadness of her end, nor she did exhibit anger, fear or discomfort, she did not complain.

She did not suggest that she would not be present in the future to share the day to day happenings or the special events such as a family wedding, a bar mitzvah, a grandchildren weekend.

She said that she would not be there to dance at the next wedding but that everyone else should.

She never showed any thought of her importance to others, her modesty was immense, yet she held a special place for many who entrusted their concerns and problems with her She was clearly a great adviser, listener and as she said “I ask”.

During her final days when each faltering breath may have been her last, those beside her were amazed when she took another. and soon was ‘back again’ in touch with her surroundings.

We had the opportunity in her last days to anticipate our loss, give ourselves time to allow her to take her own journey and also to let her go.This does not always occur .

But we realised that we would always miss her presence, her absence and of course the “puster philosophy” and her cake.

In her final hours when all her family had gathered from far and near, she was able to collect herself, having been deeply “asleep”, to hold court and lucidly, calmly, strongly and in her usual manner deliver a message of values and wishes for the future of her family after her death.

                 With a very full heart and a gratitude to have known her,

                 Michael and Angela